Through the Looking Glass
I stepped out of my car. In my right hand I held my nice eel skin brief case. My clothing and hair were impecable (my Mom & Dad always told me you had to look your best especially for business meetings). The business I was visiting was at least a 3 block walk from the parking lot. Walking towards the tall black buildings with the type of windows you can see out of but can't see in, the wind began to pick up and the rain began to pour harder. The umbrella I managed to open was hard to tame until the wind inverted the darn thing. Umbrella totally destroyed at this point, I stuffed it into the first trash can I came to. I tried to run gracefully into the building in my four inch heels (yes they were eel skin too) as both the wind and the rain gained strength. The entry way into the building was lined on both sides with beautiful trees. As I tried to pick up speed to protect myself from getting drenched, the wind also gained momentum. The trees were bending, and swaying. I was moving rapidly .... just not rapidly enough. To my horror ... "it" happened. My greatest fear happened. One of the trees bent over, extended it's branches and GRABBED my wig from my head ... LITERALLY throwing my hair back into the parking lot. I was so embarrassed .. more like terrified. As the wig came off of my head I started running in the direction it was being blown in an attempt to grab it and place it back on my head. At that moment I was praying that no one was looking through their window but more importantly I wanted to get my hair back into my hands and on to my head. Each time I would bend over to grab my hair, the wind would grab it first and toss it further. This "rain dance" went on for what seemed eternity. After SEVERAL moments of chasing my hair ALL over the parking lot I was able to grab my wig and head back to my car. Throwing my hair and my body into my car, I held back tears so I could drive to a place of safety. I placed my sopping wet wig on my head, found a phone and officially postponed my business appointment. Several weeks later and many deep breathing exercises I went back to my scene of my emotional train wreck to follow up with my client realizing from their expressions that they had witnessed my "chase scene". My clients were very kind and their sympathy showed through their eyes, light giggles, and the sale I made.
That was 20 years ago when I cried for days from embarrassement, humiliation, and shame from losing my hair to the wind. Today I enjoy retelling the story and sharing the laugher. I put myself in the position of those looking through their windows on that dreary day to see such a sight that surely brought a smile to their face as they watched.
In 1972 I lost all of my hair at the age of 16. Three years later, most of it came back. A year after that, most of it came out again never to return. My parents tried all they knew to try to search for the reason it occurred and find a solution for their "baby". They took me to endrocrinologists, peditricians, dermatologists, spirtitual healers, cosmotologists, and used "home remedies" to try to help me. For many years I was filled with shame that overwhelmed me due to my hair loss. I felt I did something very wrong. I knew people would stare at my head when they spoke to me and not at my eyes. My heart was broken and I felt as if I would never be a complete woman. I had to fight with myself just to go out with people due to my shame, fear, and guilt. When I went off to college I tried many things to get my hair to return. I refused at that point to wear wigs because they were so uncomfortable and because I was afraid people would pull it off of my head.
I also felt that "wigs" were fake and I was not being my real self. I attended college and graduated always wearing hats or scarves on my head. Those would get pulled off and cause me to cringe within, but I tried to make light of it.
Today it is 33 years later since I first lost my hair. I know that I am not alone. 30 million women in the USA EACH year live with the challenge of hair loss. The reasons for the hair loss are numerous. The reasons are such things as alopecia areata, alopecia totalis, alopecia universalis, drug interactions. scleroderma, trichotillomania, folicular damage, chemical treatments, traction alopecia, cancer, chemotherapy, radiation, along with other many other diseases and dermotological conditions.
Alopecia hope has been started to give others hope. I am very interested in hearing your stories if you would not mind sharing. I am now at a place where I can laugh at things that happened. When I look through my looking glass I know that I have very little hair but I see myself as complete. I know there are many women out there who have lived with hair loss. I am very interested in hearing your stories .. funny... sad... asking for help and hope... whatever the case may be. I believe we can gain strength from each other.
I hope you will share your story with me and others. Share funny things, sad things, or challenges you are having if you are one of the many facing the challenge of hair loss. Maybe we can encourage each other.
Hairs to you!!!